her teeth looked like a whores toenails, i was too horrified to
Ill pay your DUI fine if you just come see me nooooowwwww
no. its 2:30am and im not going to jail for a booty call
He was legit dry humping me to the sportscenter theme song, awkward i think SO.
I want to fuck you on the side of the bed tonight.
babe, don't say it like that!
I'm sorry, I want to penetrate you on the edge of our sleeping quarters this evening.
Dude..her orgasm sent her into a seizure...theres no joke here. It happened.
Actions speak louder than pants.
Wydf in so deruk i just dowwned a packet if salt waitibg for food at del taco
Well on the bright side, I only need a sophomore to complete the fuck-a-guy-from-every-year-challenge.
you looked at me, pointed to a car and silently said "the elephant parks here".
STOP TELLING PEOPLE I PEED ON YOU
I feel like i'm walking on a never-ending field of baby sheep.
I woke up wearing a lax pinnie under my shirt, a triathlon medal, and a dora backpack... I think I had fun
Just FYI, by the transitive property my breasts have now touched the Stanley Cup.
i woke up on the third floor, naked in a closet.
I love you so much and not just because your dick is perfect
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