so the guy who showed me the apt today is now texting me and asking me out for drinks...he's at least 20 yrs oldr than me and highlights his hair, but part of me is wondering how low i can talk him down in rent during sex? wrong?
allie, at least he made an effort and braided his goatee.
I've come to the conclusion while folding laundry and watching porn that I may be dead inside.
we can't get the sharpie off the toilet seat from where you pressed your forearm with THUG LIFE written on it while you puked until 3 last night
I would fuck him In a heartbeat, an obese child running up stairs with an irregular heartbeat, heartbeat.
You couldn't remember her number so you tried to dial her name into your phone. Once you realized you didn't know her name, you dialed 7 random numbers
DONT TALK SHIT ABOUT LUNCHABLES
He added his name to my To Do list. That's the way to my Type A heart.
So... remember when you threw an orange in the closet when we were 16 to make wine? Just found it. Not wine.
What, I can't laugh at my sister being driven crazy by Facebook randomly assigning chat significance to the guy she lost her virginity to?
I gave up great shower sex to be here so don't say I never did anything for our friendship.
I rocked his world in the back of my car in an overly-lit, heavily trafficked parking lot. Middle age is amazing!
Got 3360 Shoppers points for buying Plan B. I guess this all worked out for the best.
Dude did you see that video of yourself crying while bathing in vodka on YouTube?
Come to my place after work and we can discuss our finances over a coors delight and a fire ball shot
Randomize
