these pics are all outta focus - was this what the camera saw? or what your eyes saw?
What did you want me to do? You know I don't like fat people. I'm an asshole to them sober it only gets worse when I'm drunk
That doesn't make it okay! You tried kicking the girl's mom out where we were having the party at!
im never drinking wine from a person in a wet suit and goggles ever again.
He knows my period schedule but not my work schedule.
I've gotta stop getting kicked out of bars for fighting with people over the accuracy of the Harry Potter movie.
I was dressed in monkey onesie serving people vodka jelly with a spoon...
I was just crying my tits off and he was just sitting there listening. I was an open book of embarrassing life stories.
Wine is not your friend.
Who are these men, what are we doing here, how is this helping us toward our goals of sex and pasta? Things to consider.
What the fuck could you be doing in that room to make her yell "Beginners Luck!" over and over again?
Guess who just rode home in a cop car?! Your Fav flamingo
We found her on the balcony debating if it was easier to jump or throw up. Neither decision would not have been good for the 91 year old below us.
How was the party last night?
I'm dangerously close to shitting myself.
You were carrying a 6 ft lamp that we stole on your back yelling "OHANA MEANS FAMILY AND FAMILY MEANS NOBODY GETS LEFT BEHIND"
I'm drunk enough to know I'm texting you and sober enough to know what I'm saying to you
The guy who said he's gonna suck your butthole till your face caves in is at Maggie's
Randomize
