I think I just got seasick
you're not on a boat
he has a waterbed.
Dude, she's so old there's a chalk outline where her reproductive organs used to be.
Its Shannon Doherty lazy not Forest Whittaker lazy
so i made out with some dude last night at the bar. and some girl just stood there and watched. i felt bad so i made out with her too. She looked like she felt left out.
You couldn't hold yourhead up but you managed to unzip my zipper. That's skill..
Just witnessed my roommate pick her nose and eat it in her sleep. Remember, you made out with that.
We had three bowls going. It was a tri-bowl tournament. Harry potter shit.
i officially have over $300 in my bank account. that's a year's worth of chipotle.
Seriously. Come back. I've had two beers for breakfast so far. The third will be for lunch since it's already 12.
The first guy I ever sexted is having a baby.. Is this what adulthood feels like?
It was the highest I'd ever been. I felt like a blob. A blob eating a burrito.
Concept: I never actually flirt with anyone, I'm just a bitch and some people find it endearing
I came over to get dick...not to watch you vacuum....at 2 AM
Haha just talked to the dude you bit on Thursday. He has been growing a beard to hide the bruising....
he is sitting in the driveway by himself laughing at nothing, idk what to do
Randomize
