Done. Eyebrows are waxed, entire body shaved
Is it morally objectionable to repay my debt to society with drug money?
after last night i think it would be a good idea if i wrote a will... you know, just in case.
Dudes got a Polo tattoo. I don't care if he has a yacht I can't handle that level of gay.
I'll see ya tonight at your house...and I'm bringing you a special treat that starts with a V and ends with us eventually going to rehab one day.
I just woke up and my mouth tastes like I licked the bathroom floor in the last ghetto bar we were in. I'm going to get my mouth checked for chlamydia. Do I see a dentist for that?
how did we start talking about space blow jobs?
I definitely made out with a high school student last night while his sister and my brother were in the same room. I think we're all traumatized by the situation.
Why the hell did you smack that girls beer out of her hand at the end of the night then buy her a double jack and coke for?
Its called bad cop laid cop.
I bought everclear. Bring your party pants and some addies
You're not gonna punch me in the face again are you?
I'm sorry. I just realized our 'big night out' ended up being you driving my high ass to get burritos and back.
Dylan just paid 30 bucks to have himself wrapped in the clear plastic they wrap luggage in at the airport. Bring scissors.
I think that's mostly how we became friends.
Well that, and your desire to put your penis in me.
I just bought the spice girls album. We will be doing music videos in the near future. You are our baby spice-- don't fight it
His wife just cheated on him for the third time. I'm his first extra-marital fling, that makes it ok, right? You know to keep karma balanced in the universe
Your logic is flawless...
Randomize
