Can you confirm that Victor fucked a girl for Jack in the Box tacos?
I cannot, but I know he fucked a girl for a Nerf hoop and a "Kingpin" dvd.
She said my dick tasted like a junior mint. Ive decided im using this soap the rest of my life
Hey we met at the bar a week ago. Your friend gave me a rose and you asked about my nipples.
I think that the winner of this years fantasy football league should get naming rights to you child
Apparently this is my life now. Fucking men in their 30s with small dogs.
90 seconds of pumping and 2 months of bragging all summer. So much for my reputation here.
I can feel my teeth in 4 dimensions. I shouldnt be this high at 8 in the morning.
Matt's offering to breast feed it.
If I spent my amateur stripper money does that mean I am cleansed of my sins?
I'm never going to adult. I'm staying a child. The only thing related to adult that I want to do is you.
literally took my pants off in the middle of bourbon last night without taking off my heels im a super human i guess
I thought we agreed to no sexting at the school bake sale...
Tripping over coffee tables hurts shins but face is okay bc I landed on a sofa.
he’s basically the devil with a fuck boy hair cut and chlamydia
Considering what happened last night and how horrible I feel, I look amazing
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