Have u ever been so drunk that pissing urself felt like a better idea than walking to the bathroom? I entered those waters last night
Do you ever look back at facebook pics and say, "are those really guys I had sex with?"
new excercise plan: walk a mile get a bj then walk a mile home
we usually just have an Easter beer hunt and never end up at church anyways
he drove an hour to get eggs with me not even a blow job, just eggs.
Word is he has some crazy hawaiian STD
I seriously think the toilet is the cleanest thing in their house. At least if I have to worry its not about that.
She's crying about either her ex boyfriend, her one night stand, or her own puke. None of those is worth the tears.
I think I'm going to contact pbr and see if they'll sponsor our dreams
I just got my beard fondled by a drunk chick outside the venue. I feel slightly violated. And I think her boyfriend wanted to fight me.
We watched the first ever season of SNL and fucked for so long. He accidentally punched me in the face, but I mean, John Belushi was the background noise of our sex. I can deal with it.
with hottub sex, handcuffs, Pocahontas themed lap dances, and eating pumpkin pie off each other, I'm gonna say thanksgiving will be a success ;)
I'm definitely not going to be able to fuck him high. I won't be able to not laugh at his man boobs
I think one of my ovaries is committing suicide. But that is a topic for another day.
I JUST NEEDED TO TELL YOU I JUST FUCKED TWO BOYS IN THE SPAN OF LIKE THREE HOURS AND ONE OF THEM WAS MY SISTERS PROM DATE FROM HIGH SCHOOL IM LOWKEY BOTH PROUD AND ASHAMED
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