I think there's some kind of asian convention downtown. There are thousands and they're all wearing badges and snapping pictures. I feel like I just stepped into your worst nightmare.
"Is there dairy in semen?" was in her recent google searches...so she's lactose intolerant AND a slut.
you definitely made a grilled cheese using your iron..
ya and it worked didnt it??
I knew I was in the wrong bar when "I have a daughter your age" was some random's pick up line.
i caught myself talking to a pigeon about my yeast infection.
I don't think everyone found it as funny as I did... Nothing says "Party's Over" like the sound of a pump action shotgun.
A BJ like that needs to be recommended.
I'm at a new rock bottom. Malibu on ice at work because it's the only thing they've got and no mixers.
I got you a "sorry you think I'm pregnant" present
Remember the thing I sent you? "Often complex problems are best solved by thinking like an animal." Hump away!
Thank you. I woke up with a beard hair in my mouth. Super classy.
I drove them away with my sparkling personality and LOTR references.
You know youre getting old when you I.D. the person trying to take you home to be sure they're over 25. Help me.
I just put a pill up my vagina. It was little like a quail egg. There is so much happening up there right now.
can jess come too?
sure! but I don't have enough booze for the both of you.
she comes with her own booze, no worries.
Randomize
