Just took a beer bong out of snuffaluffagus's trunk. Your move
i'm so sad bro, I can't get any pussy. I'm so sad
i feel like words won't express my appreciation properly so at some point i'm just going to bring you pizza then go down on you for an hour. fair?
Ohmy god im about to fuxk my TA. i thyought this was a dream but i love you. <3
im trying to find a facebook picture of him that doesnt make me regret sleeping with him. its not working
It's a long way off yet but I've started planning my eviction party. Be prepared, it includes jungle juice.
First time on E and Chris took me to a petsmart during puppy day. I might die of pure awesomeness.
It's a goat... but where the fuck did it come from?
Good thing I left work early to shave my balls because traffic sucked ass, which I was written up for and my reason on the write was "to close on time, have to shave balls for date tonight". Oh yea, that was a bold statement right there
That happens a lot to the people around me. It's like I'm radioactive but instead of cancer, you get desensitized to the word cunt
I just peed on a rich man's lawn fuck yeah America
I have this vague feeling that I was involved in a dance off with a homeless man?
you blew the guy with all the harry potter paraphanelia didn't you
God, I missed his penis.
oh and i figured out why we kept smelling vomit. ive got vomit on my socks. putting the heater on my feet was not the best of ideas.
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