I think scott just propositioned me for sex
Busta Rhymes just yelled at me! He cut a song off and I was clapping and he looked right at me and said "don't fucking clap." I was that white guy.
i would rather give Shaq a handjob than take this accounting final
I need to get the stench of sex and broken dreams out of my room
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he said 'i love fucking you, ashley'. it was the most romantic thing he's said during sex because he actually used my name.
It's when I'm in my pajamas and in need of a gin delivery that I miss NYC most of all.
How can I look at her with a straight face when she has dry puke on her eye lid
the threesome consisted of him fingering dana while i laid next to them watching how i met your mother.
Porn. Physics. Porn. Icecream. Porn. That's my life now.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Did you seduce any young men into coming home to your love nest of poutine and jäger bombs?
His and hers buttplugs were a resounding success. Tru luv
I am having the most awesome nonsexual conversation about my vagina right now
and if planning a fake elopement keeps me from fucking strangers and doing drugs, i think it's good for me
His new girl is probably classy and boring. I bet she doesn't feed him sour patch kids while she wiggles his weiner.
Haha I had a heart to heart with a stripper so I would say it was a success?
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