so i did it. i barked while i was ejaculating. not a word was said by either of us afterwards.
so how much did i say i owed you?
$5 and a new fuck buddy.
you told his mom that the only thing he wants for christmas is his dick in your mouth
i am YELPING strip clubs. This is interesting.
Woke up with an epic boner today, the kind where you can spin books and shit on it. FYI: don't try spinning an encyclopedia
You peed in my camelbak and said it was a reverse catheter. Not cool.
The way I see it, everyone on campus has a fake, but I'm the only person who actually makes beer in their dorm.
I thought that wasn't a thing ever since she showed you her vag on the dance floor
Taking my underwear off at work was one of my better decisions this weekend
I missed rounds this morning...my senior resident hooked me up to and IV and made me stay in the clinic because he said I didn't look presentable enough to walk around the hospital
Take your time. I'm mowing the lawn. In the dark. Drunk.
gonna guess the empty vodka bottle and open can of tuna in the bathroom drawer are related?
Well that's disappointing. I guess I'll give a lesson on dick-breaking another time then
It's going to turn into you and me throwing down in a devastating lip-synch battle while everyone else stands around awkwardly.
We kicked down a door together last night, pretty sure that qualifies us as best friends.
scale of one to ten how loathsome is it to save my chocolate easter bunny to use for a topping on my edibles
Randomize
