The bride says you won't want any of the single ladies...
Let's let the open bar be the judge of that.
HOLY FUCK I JUST GOT WOKEN UP BY THUNDER!!!!!
I THINK I SHARTED
Please brint me miilk. I am on the floor but my door is open. Thank you, i appreciate u verry much.
Did i tell you that he's legal and i got his number? Because he's legal and i got his number. THIS BITCH AIN'T GOING TO JAIL YET
ARTHUR IS ON FUCKING NETFLIX THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
Yeah. I found my shirt from last night while walking back to the bar to get my purse/phone this morning. I'm never going to even ask what actually happened. Be glad you moved 7 states away.
The dominoes guy came back thirty mins later to ask me out. I guess he figures if I'm eating pizza alone I must have gotten dumped
he asked me where I was going to school, and then we started having sex, and I answered his question forty five minutes later after we were done. It was the chilliest thing ever.
The highlight of the night was definitely when you starting telling ppl you could shapeshift and "proved" that by stripping.
Fuck off. Since when do you love him??
Since he licked my arm to retrieve the macaroni and cheese he dropped. You have to appreciate that
Can't even lie. Mad respect
sometimes i like to lay one the floor and pretend im a carrot.
You had blacked out Skype sex? Wow we live in the future
I just remembered something from last night. check your closet.
I'm a freaking penguin. one mate for life, and really awkward at parties
After everything I’ve done… had sex with people off tinder, gone to clubs and bars, gone to hockey games…. I get Covid at GRANDMAS HOUSE
Randomize
