All I've ever wanted to do in life is right
Maybe you should learn how to spell write first
hdsncx Gizmo asnqw toilet blanasdi
ok, stay where you are, be there soon
a queef is a wish your heart makes.
Apparently I'm the guy that didn't get the memo that Afliction and wifebeaters were the proper attire for tonight... so I'll just sit here alone in my sweatervest and be judged.
Pretty sure a homeless guy just told me to 'lick his balls clean' because I looked at him.
I may have just serenaded the sadface couple sitting on a bench outside the dorm by singing Bye Bye Bye.
Let's just rave with boners that last for hours
I hate him and his pretentious your-sleeping-in-the-wet-spot look.
I think I may have some undocumented and undiscovered std that causes girls to go bat shit crazy. How you got it is beyond me
Two run-ins with cops/park rangers tonight and now I'm just wandering around high and shirtless
Sacramento doesn't deserve you
he's like a horny 3rd grader on cocaine. he needs a leash
Currently at a bar observing the mating patterns of drunken people in their 60s. This is hilariously terrifying. Hope he has Viagra.
I never thought in a million years that I would have a threesome with my boss and his wife and yet here we are.
Smoking weed with a blind guy, don't worry he's chill.
How are you feeling today?
Like Satan handed me a grenade and ass sandwich.
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