You can't motorboat a personality
she asked if she could keep her bee antennas on during her mugshot. i love halloween.
i don't really know how much tequila is too much
I didn't think it was possible but there may actually be TOO MANY pictures of me tagged shotgunning.
I wish I could just thrust my cock straight into her new relationship.
I got the number from the girl at uhaul even after she saw me throw up all over the parking lot with a 6 pack in my hands.
I'm too hungover to crawl to the fridge so im eating the candy nipple tassels I got bought for Christmas
This girl just swallowed a pealed banana whole. I'm not worthy.
Why do I only have half my beard? My chin is so naked...
i accidenteley seduced the christian girl's brother so i dont think we can count on free church picnic food again
Lmfao. We asked what you wanted to eat and you said vagina. I don't care what kind. Fresh, barbecue, roasted on a camp fire. I just want it on my taste buds.
Lindsey Lohan and I have slept with the same amount of people. The only thing she's now beating me on is rehab trips and teen choice awards, so really I'm the winner.
I wish I were single again so I could actually have sex.
Last night when we banged she had nothing else on but socks that said 'property of Jesus' on them.
What was I even doing in 2010?! I feel like that's a question I should be able to type into the Facebook Search bar
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