ugly people sure do ruin things
dude she was so drunk she thought Jim Joyce made the right call
I just spent the last 30 mins playing uplifting songs to my uterus, & there's no way I'm pregnant.
We're celebrating his weight gain and arrest.and by we I mean I, and by celebrating I mean getting dangerously drunk
Too lazy to get out of my bed thats 2 feet away from you. Are you sure youre alright?
They ran through the sprinklers in front of campus police, shirtless. Singing "love is a battlefield"
I think being an adult is being able to say no to free shots...I need to work on that.
my roommate just showed me the scar on her forehead... that she got from a shake weight... That. just. happened.
Too lazy to make dinner. Had chocolate and scotch instead. Check in with me in a half hour.
Me too. We could do it like prostitutes. No kissing on the mouth.
who dressed up as a cop at your party???
idk I have to check. Why?
he gave me the best strip search of my life. FIND HIM.
did i make more ranch sandwiches last night
you had 4
Please tell me how the stripper got back to Sarah's from the trailer park
How many fucks given?
0.12846
I had a dream last night that Sam and Dean had to get rid of a murderous ghost haunting an elf on the shelf. I think I'm ready for Christmas to be over.
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