I'm so tired of dating women who lie about their age. You show up feeling like you need to follow them around with a dust pan and a broom.
we'll penetrate his innocence with our dicks
He shouted my World of Warcraft name while we were having sex, and he was sober.
My student's should feel privledged to see me tuesday after the amount of alcohol I consumed this weekend.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Get everyone out of their dorms and watch 3 girls do the walk of shame from my room.
remember that response paper i wrote naked, at 745am still drunk with a naked dude in my bed? yeah, totally got an a- on that. and he loved my insight.
He put used condom on the handle of the plunger in the bathroom.
They better compete for your attention. Dual to the fuck
I just set the shake weight record at the bar. 20 mins of that crap and drinking beer through a straw will get the job done. I also bet the bartender 100 bucks I could go shot for shot with him. The date for that event is TBA.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He is really drunk but I just found $20 so it's like I am getting paid to babysit
You never know true fear until you're on your period in a house full of white furniture.
Rome wasn't built in a day - my bedroom skills weren't obtained in some boring monogamous relationship. Same thing. Right?
I've fucked him twice and literally had no idea that he's missing a thumb
Turns out your granddad is cooler than you. We're taking him on our New year's eve pub crawl instead. Sorry.
On the good side I got hit on by a cute college guy. But the bad side was having sex in a frat house for first time in 9 years
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