He showed me a four inch blond hair that grows out of his side. He calls it his little ray of sunshine. Please come get me.
My valentine's day: watching The Notebook, and porn, eating chocolate, and ice cream. All while jacking off.
Wow... you've managed to cover all of the sad girl stereotypes that exist.
Dude, I went home and roller-bladed into her bedroom so I didn't have a 'walk' or shame in the morning..I wouldn't talk to her unless she refereed to me as Brink
I'm too afraid that I'm 1. Banned or 2. Gonna be noticed by the lady bouncer I punched.
my favorite homeless guy just told me I drive like Batman, achievement unlocked
Well if you're drunk enough to make some mistakes this week I'd be down to redeem myself for my poor performance.
All I want in life is to get high, take a shower, and him to go down on me. Simultaneously. That's legit my idea of heaven.
Just got gas in my car for the first time while high. Went better than expected.
I think his roommates are using word magnets to tell me that they can hear us. His fridge currently says, "Chris ate out naughty girl."
I think I'd be more bothered by his cross dressing if I wasn't secretly into women..,
I just watched a stripper purchase $43 of Rockstar and corn nuts. Godamnit! We need helmet cams.
He said you asked to eat pepperoni off his dick and he thought it was weird
I mean I thought it sounded fun
Stuck in the Minneapolis airport for 3 hours with an expense budget and a wine bar. This could get out of hand quickly.
If that orgasm indicates how the rest of the year is going to go, I need to buy rain boots.
im tired of guys just wanting to hook up with me. im like, guys, i know im pretty and i have a slammin bod and i love making out, but cant someone treat me with respect??
Randomize
