I totally have a Rabbi on speed dial now. Keep it Kosher.
Anthony wouldn't know good sex if it sat on his face
I can't believe he cheated
Whatever. Anytime she has an orgasm, it's because I taught him how
Dude, it's gettin so bad even my fantasies just wanna be friends.
Any girl that compares her vag to a hot ham sandwich is beyond a slut
I've come to realize time passes slowest when I'm sitting in class, waiting for microwavable foods, working out, & giving head.
I have no idea how to attract men with my personality anymore. He can't see my tits via facebook chat
if you spike my cofee one more time im gona fuck you up. im presenting to the mayor in sevven fucking minuets. fuck you and youir fucking bartending classses i am so fuckign fcked
You're like my zumba instructor for alcoholism right now
She did my hair, then ate me out. Switching teams was an awesome decision.
She's cute, but batshit. Like some kind of dominatrix disney princess.
I thought he was having it in Athens. Alright. Have fun. Please save my dignity and refrain from talking about my boobs and sexual "abilities". If I have any. I just feel like they are going to ask. Repeat after me. And repeat it 5 more times. This is going to be the phrase you're going to rely on tonight: "I can neither deny or confirm such actions."
I'm like the big dick whisperer.
WHY IS SHE PANDERING YOU, A SIMPLE GOBLIN, TINY WEENER PICTURES OVER STATE LINES
I just realized I'm having shark week, during shark week.
Randomize
