He told me he had herpes after I put his hotdog in my mouth
I didn't black out, the guy in the Men In Black costume erased my memory
plan parent hood is for high school, im at the abortion clinic, so college.
terrible decisions. terrible terrible terrible decisions.
who'd you have sex with.
I inspected his penis with a mini flashlight to check for visible stds...he was clean
It's probably just the physical manifestation of slut karma. But i of course mean that in the kindest way possible because i love you and respect your choices
He wasn't eating out, he was performing a hysterectomy without a license....should I be worried about my future family?
I'm not taking advise from someone who responded to the pickup line "I have a penis"
So I was trying to finish off that sick uv whipped and I chased it with yogurt. Not a good idea
I like how she'll post a picture on Instagram with her boyfriend and 2 hours later you'll send me a snap of her panties on your rear view mirror
MY TITS ARE PERFECTLY CALM.
Fuck that guy and his dumb haircut and awesome dick
Yeah you were fine except for when you peed under the bar
Ripping out my IUD in Dave and busters bathroom
You can tell by the way he cuddles that he's got mommy issues
Randomize
