im typing and i feel like my hands are on backwards.
Stop texting me, I'm right here.
we were naked in his bed and he told me all about what a "baller" alexander the great was.
friends with benefits? more like friends with awkward sexual tension
under NO circumstances is it acceptable to fist pump to taylor swift
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I wish I had a frozen water bed.
best. idea. ever.
You kept saying "sir officer" which would have been polite and helped you if it wasn't a female. She was pissed.
just tried to pee in the sink at wendys...need to stop letting my drunk habits get into my sober life
I promise not to drug you or anything. Please come to my birthday party.
We'll I told him I wanted to keep it PG last night, but then later I asked him to take his pants off. So i'm guessing it was my fault.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I've already agreed to hook up with 3 people tonight, and its not even 2:00 yet... I think this is what the path to success looks like.
those kids just got delivered to the party by the pizza guy
Back of his car in the Starbucks parking lot WITH HIS APRON STILL ON. Check and Mate.
Holy shit. You won barista bingo AND the Triple Crown in one day.
STONER SAFETY TIP: don't use the driver's side vanity mirror to check how red your eyes are while you're driving. it won't work. trust me.
When that wave blew your top off I heard someone yell "SPANK BANK"
As a former fat girl, that's probably the best compliment I've ever received ever!
Mischief managed.
YOU ARE NOT A MARAUDER, WHAT THE FUCK DID YOU DO NOW?
Randomize