dude! the alphabet song and twinkle twinkle little star are like the same tune
what drug did you take to come to that conclusion??
im going to live freely with my legs opened and my heart closed
He kissed my cheek and I could smell it the whole way home like shit
You were making dinosaur noises while jerking me off..
I am actually insulted by the long string of ugly, fat girls he hooked up with after me.
Walking down the street at 11 pm dressed in bubble wrap. Why is the bar so fucking far away??
Drinking Hot Toddies on the Porch and blasting bob dylans "hurricane" bring it on sandy!
I think my body is a cloud. This mixture of things is heavenly. Dare was wrong, drugs are awesome.
I hope you gays don't get too crazy after DOMA. Gay divorces aren't any better than straight ones.
Blacked out drunk in California and woke up somewhere in Arizona, I'm pretty sure I got here on foot
You guys had reggaeton music playing while dry humping? Definition of romance.
He's far too busy staring into my soul to touch my tits.
Cancelling your gym membership calls for alcohol.
She woke up next me in bed and told me to stop driving so fast.
I just want a man in my bed on a regular basis, who cuddles, and who I can also occasionally hang out with outside of my bedroom. Is that too much to ask for?
Randomize
