You know the commpass Jack Sparrow has? The one that just points at whatever you want? Thas pretty much my moral compass.
oh right, i forgot that not everyone has a go-to blowjob
I just masturbated into a dress sock. I feel fancy
you started puking right when a nickelback song came on..it was epic
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I learned an important lesson this weekend.... I'm way to good at sex to travel for it. From now on he drives here...
grown man stumbling drunk down green street wearing nothing but a hot dog costume and crying. its not even noon yet.
...that's why he's not doing anything with his life except breeding geckos
Softest bathroom rug I've slept on in my life, there have been many
the mechanics of walkigng feel weird right now everyone lools like a demon
what does alcohol mean
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
How the fuck does a person bruise an armpit? I swear to god, I get the lamest drunk injuries.
im lying in bed trying to choke myself out because being awake hurts too much
She bruised my penis again. But, trooper I am we kept on going.
I just mixed tangerine juice with sauv blanc. on an unrelated note, my episide of intervention is slated to run in April.
I wish I just waited long enough to hate someone to fuck one
Just cuz u chase vodka with sweet tea doesn't make it sweet tea vodka
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