there should be a rule- if you jizz on it, you wash it
know what turns me on? long, stringy hair on a pasty looking girl with an overstuffed backpack and kneepads over her jeans in case she falls off her scooter
your less of a man for seeing that
they're making a venn diagram comparing gummi bears against gummi worms...is this what i have to sit thru to get free weed????
I negotiated the purchase of an entire tray of like 50 jello shots for $8.
Giving the kids Children's Claritin and calling it candy.....Is it setting them up for drug abuse later?
I appreciate the offer. Swallowing pride is much like swallowing cum, difficult and unpleasant
I hope he doesn't find the chex mix when he takes my shirt off.
The toilet started ringing, I think I just found your phone.
There was a suspicious looking plate that suggests I may have eaten salad with gravy
I don't know which is a more impressive stolen object. The couch from a sheer logistical viewpoint, or the parking meter because i'm pretty sure that's a federal offence.
you are not perverted enough for this relationship to work out.
All I need is the Internet and a place to drink.
That reminds me of that one time you handcuffed me to a table leg while I was reaching for the vodka.
His reasoning for leaving the keys in the ignition of my car overnight with the top down in an open parking lot ? Too eager to have sex. The sex was not that good for him to do this twice....
it was fucking weird. cops showed up but they appreciated our 3 story bong. and then some girl tried to steal our cheese and butter
Randomize
