First, he can't make me cum.. And now, he can't get it up because he LOVES me?!!??! i don't think so.
I really hope your girlfriend didnt have your phone while i texted how much i loved doing it in HER car with you :x
You know its been a rough night when you wake up and the first thing you remember is your mom going skinny dipping.
he whipped it out and it smelt like my toilet after taco Tuesday
I learned nothing from that class except drinking and chemistry go together great.
Your two fuck buddies playing ping pong together. HOW. ADORABLE!
she just punched a dude and called him a peasant for not drinking fast enough in flip cup.
Be ready for a dog pile. On your head. With my ass.
Shits getting dirty between us in her dad's bedroom. I'm talking early millennium rap and r&b
HOLD ONTO YOUR PANTIES AND SAY GOODBYE TO THE REMAINDER OF YOUR INTEGRITY
So if her brother fucks my brother, can I just tell her that anal sex is in her genes?
The problem with having sex on the couch is that your blanket ends up in the laundry and you're left cold on the couch the next day.
It's only ok to pee out the window in the afternoon when you're drunk.
Drink water, eat food, and stop tazing yourself
I cannot believe all 4 of us had sex at the same time, in the same bed... And it didn't turn into a foursome..
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