He just said "I made some changes in my life. The male g-spot is in the rectum and I wanted to explore that."
You and I should start a club for people who woke up on outside on a bench with no idea how they got there.
whoever threw up in my shampooo bottle is totally getting defriended on facebook.
i tried to stop you. you just kept saying your split ends needed punishment.
there is no 'pace myself' on the blackout express
like teasing for 28 minutes, then the very last 2 minutes is where is ALL goes down. I'm talking, rings off, stable sitting position, hand job madness.
You need to stop blackout tweeting at him to have sex with you on the roof of your dorm. He doesn't even have a twitter.
I woke up to his gay cousin telling me I had the prettiest boobs. I don't even wanna know.
Let's get really high and wear fake mustaches and try not to laugh at each other...
me blowing you awake is the exact turn i want our relationship to take
Had a dream I beat up niall then madeout with him while snorting coke out of a dragons egg
One of the art pieces was basically this chick throwing raw meat at the audience, anyone who got hit (which I did) got a free shot of whiskey. It was worth it.
He sent me a picture of a gas station condom and said "we probably shouldn't use this but if I was to impregnate someone on accident I'd want it to be you"
But if you move out who will get drunk with me on the roof and yell at boys?!?
Had a dream last night that we survived the apocalypse. And we celebrated Christmas.
What did I get you?
A 12 gauge and a bottle of vodka that was waist high.
Sounds about right
I got some blow and a hand job from one of the strippers. So I guess I'm getting over the divorce.
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