remember facepaint boy? turns out it stains. aaaand i have it all over my face and neck.
The guy asked if i had a problem w/set schedules
so later when i'm crying over him remind me that he once called his penis "senor weeper"
Yes, do intervene. Unless it involves cowboys with loud trucks and hard 9 inch dicks. Then just come back for me in the morning.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It wasn't the stripper that gave you the hickey but I just figured out who did
I woke up naked dangling by my feet from the balcony over his foyer. He's officially my new favorite booty call.
I got rejected. By another girl. At a red light. In front of seven shirtless cyclists in the middle of the night. How is that normal?!?
The moral of the story is do not hire me because everything will end up smelling like pickles and I will not sufficiently clean it up.
Please delete that video of me blowing you. I will repay you with 100 blowjobs even better than the one I gave you during that video. Please. I am gonna be a grandma one day.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The neighbor just yelled bring me back that big red alien penis.
The girl neighbor.
TOPLESS DRIVE THRU! I have no money and my dignity is at an all time low.
Bumble is fuckin insane here. I'm going to break a hip.
You ate my ass why wouldn't I remember you
We went to the midnight donut shop and you hopped the counter and told everyone to "Get the Fuck out of your Bar" but to also "Make yourselves at home".
i have a lot of questions about the picture quality/lighting/motion/gravity of the balls...
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