whoever gets the blood i just donated is getting a shit ton of free thc
Tittie bar + Mother In law gone = mission accomplished.
i know this sounds kinda weird but his cock smelled like fabric softener. it was so refreshing.
Quesedillas should not make me weep and drinking water should not make me feel like god is giving me mouth to mouth. Never again.
I got drunk enough that when camel suggested jumping off the pier, I thought it was a fantastic plan. Also my blood hurts.
Welcome to drink and talk like a Russian afternoon.
Pirate drinking day will be planned for shortly
I approve this so hard.
Hopefully my orange shoes will distract people's attention from my crippling awkwardness
Two dicks, one me.
Yoga's definitely paying off.
Ryan got so drunk he gave a hobo $20 and I had to zip tie him to the bed so he doesn't out stupid himself
Do you rver get that feeling like their are poprocks filling ur boday?
I still don't understand if he's using me to write his resume or if we're dating
Well I've consulted some psychics but they keep saying all they hear in my head is screaming and all they see in my future is pool noodles and cheese dip?
The cop busted in, made the music stop, and goes "GUYS LISTEN UP! DRINK, DO DRUGS, HAVE UNPROTECTED SEX, I DONT GIVE A FUCK, JUST QUIET DOWN!" Best. Cop. Ever.
I cannot believe I accepted his penis into my body.
I'm writing to thank you for your never ending commitment to my orgasms and also to apologize if any physical harm was done due to your impressive efforts. Hopefully the sex and post sex pizza made up for it.
Randomize
