it sounded like he was fisting a can of crisco.
just realized we made a drinking game to how many times they say "hakuna matata" in the lion king last night... hello sophomore year.
I swear I could audibly hear her vagina slam shut when you walked up to hit on her.
GOOD NIGHT DREAM OF ALCOHOL SNO CONES
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We were thinking he might be gay. Like how the fuck do you not even make out with a girl that made you a grilled cheese
Just saw 1 guy dressed as a cow and another dressed as a shrimp dancing on the side of the road. We're turning around I NEED to dance with them.
By the way. I expect to test the theory of you running a mile drunk for memorial day.
HI MARY. THERE IS A RAINBOW AT OUR APARTMENT
When you and that girl went into the bedroom, you yelled "FOR NARNIA!"
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He tried to tell me that he could handle his liquor better than "all the bitches in this town." AS HE THREW UP. ALL. OVER.
Why did this happen to me why did I have to meet him if I could go back in time I never would have grabbed his dick
Cancun blessed me with a drinking problem
I told him I had the birth control implant in my arm and he looked me in the eyes, said "Science!" and came in me
...i have a beer in one hand, and a chicken wing in the same. typical tuesday, right?
Finally hooked up with Ryan. Now I know why they call him “Beast Mode”. So. Many. Orgasms.
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