i just pooped in tubberware. not a proud day
after giving me morning oral, he left saying "hate to eat and run but..." oh yeah, he's getting a second date.
I just saw that your im name has '4eva' in it. Your man card has been revoked.
He told me he loved me mid lick. Anyone that can look at me from that angle, lick my vagina, and say they love me must absolutely mean it
If he comes over tomorrow, im answering the door naked. Simple as that.
We've cranked the heat for blizzard versions of all of our strip games. Come over.
I need a new best friend. Someone who drinks like a fish, hooks up enough to raise eyebrows, and isn't afraid to admit that masturbation is the second best way to spend time. Someone like me! Help me put up posters.
In the mean time, I'll continue to kick ass at running and become a successful stripper while he might hook up with one average looking girl he met at a club. I so win.
She gave me a can of steel reserve to pour on myself in the shower
My mom told me to get it out of my system now bc once I hit 30 it's not acceptable to get "white girl wasted".
I just sat watching friends in the bathtub by candlelight...nights like this make me wonder if I ever want to be in a relationship again
I love everything about him! His penis, his hair, his tattoos, his penis, his cat, his penis.
TELL HER ABOUT THE GODDAMNED MOTHERFUCKING POTATOES
I'm pretty sure I broke my breathalyzer by breathing vaporized vodka into it.
ill give you some hints: blood, carnival, fog machine, happy meal.
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