weed, chlorine, and victory. my bed smells like i had sex with michael phelps.
I'm surrounded by too many unhungover people.
dude my 8 year old cousin is allowed to drink wine coolers. as long as its infront of my aunt. wtf
We left your bucket of puke on your doorstep to clean out yourself. You're welcome.
We need to do something soon. I need like 4,000 beers and a cigarette.
I just did a jell-o shot with my grandmother. I can die now..
After owing so much in back child support they should make vasectomy a mandatory
what the hell is that chicken wire thing she's holding?
An artistic expression of her stupidity.
Lmfao. We asked what you wanted to eat and you said vagina. I don't care what kind. Fresh, barbecue, roasted on a camp fire. I just want it on my taste buds.
I didn't know. I guess I really haven't had that much time for drinking lately. I mean, outside drinking at home/work.
Both of us came out of our rooms at the same time in boxers and sat on the couch. No words were spoken.
I never thought that at some point in my life I would end up in the back of a cop car dressed as Pumba #HakunaMatata
I just called my boyfriend "Dad"... Awkward
If you're into enormous nipples, you should ask out my office's receptionist.
I have dined. Now I want to get fucked.
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