I think I'm going to die by hangover. I'm in my spanish class. So I guess I'm going to be muerte.
I couldn't remember if it was hamsters or Iraq that you hated. I'm so sorry.
theyre selling pepper spray in the courtyard. hellooo atl
i just entered cocaine into my calorie counter.
he made his penis look like a sprinkler when he was coming. it was pretty cool actually.
How do I politely say my vagina is not a chew toy and if you bite me again I will slap you?
You could say take it easy, whoa there, be gentle, anything that doesn't fully convey the horror.
There's a kid in the back of the class drinking out of a flask. Like what is going on?
NOW HE'S DRINKING OUT OF A HANDLE. WHO IS THIS KID?
Same encounter she body slammed me to the floor and than humped me
Damn that brownie almost kicked my ass. I'm not sure if my flight home lasted 10 minutes or 10 days..
I told you I couldn't sleep because of the speed and you rolled over and replied "shh. just pretend."
Remind me to tell you: When threeways go awry, my MLK weekend story.
Your heart isn't making stupid decisions... your penis is outsmarting your brain. Stop fucking her!
Idk what's worse.... Yesterday not waking up in my bed or today waking up in the hello kitty gown.
I finally realized he drank way too much when he tried serenading me to the song "come my lady" while slowly and creepily making his way toward me...keeping constant eye contact.
So, I think think I left my underwear at your house. Well...not exactly your house but your roof.
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