cant believe you said you would bone perez hilton
i said paris hilton
thats even worse
May God have mercy on my new vibrator.
Just got my econometrics book in the mail and started flipping through it. Our Thursday parties may turn into u convincing me not to kill myself.
I'm so used to throwing up its no longer a game of hanging over the toilet. Now it's just 'stand up, aim for the toilet, do my thing' then walk out
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
someone left their shoes, a resume, and a pizza in the shower... i am actually speechless
I woke up in the closet and then I found my shirt in a bag of Doritos... how does that work out?
Just got a blow job while taking my online quiz. How is life in the dorms treating you?
The instructions say refer to specific course material, but I'm in no mood to reopen this awful book that caused me so many lost hours of drinking.
Yeah FUCK THAT NOISE
there was 'chicken suit porn' in my search history.......also 'scuba diving porn'
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
woke up in a random sweater in a random bed in a random house on a street I don't recognize..
also, I vaguely remember swapping shirts with some random guy on the dance floor.
My brain and heart say thanks but my vagina isn't super pleased with you right now
Is it weird that the best sex I've ever had was to Barbara Streisand's Christmas album?
I chose not to drink last night but drinking chose me
is it fucked up if I wear crotchless panties to thanksgiving to make it easier for me to fuck my cousins friend.
God I love you.
On a scale of 1 to shit show you were "i just pissed myself"
Randomize