We had two amazing nights in a row...it was so weird...I couldn't even go to sleep cause I thought maybe it was just in his plot to kill me.
Grab the Coors Light. Its time to get NASCAR drunk
we just did breakfast shots, I have a black eye and savage garden is on . Best weekend ever
does it count as cheating if I'm bettering him for his girlfriend?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just had to pull out another loan to pay for that public drunkenness citation. I am so ready to graduate.
Someone fucked up, the stop Kony day is on 4/20,
There where 3 half naked girls passed out on the pool table, I crawled under it and just as I was about to go to sleep some guy walks up and says: "dude nice spot" walks away and comes back with a pillow.
I think the old lady next to me at the bar just saw your pussy
Omg no. We ate a raw pumpkin last nighr. We dipped it in BBQ sauce.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I better not get a vid of you penile helicoptering
Are you still free tonight?
Oh shit I kinda forgot and took acid
I really don’t want to have kids.
I thought we agreed we were done with dirty talk for the day
Bro, that'd be the third dick I've taken down in the office.
College is really paying off. I am gonna be a great teacher. I just made a grading sheet for weed. This shit got an A.
You ever fart so hard it made you cum a little? A "friend of mine" wanted to know.
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