It's like the water temple from zelda. but with more tits.
Let me begin my 3 part apology by saying that you are a wonderful human being...
i think i have weasels eating my brain. Also there is a skeleton staring at me from the back of the bathroom door. it's an awkward vomit. come find me please
He put crushed up bacon in the joint and now we're listening to the Matilda soundtrack I have no idea what's going on
can't blv i tried using a "backpack" as a unit of measurement...i drank a lot of beer last night
I have the perfect view of a sexy blonde in yoga pants stretching from the shoulder press machine. I'll be here all night. So glad I came high.
Ur here with me in spirit. Now run free. Run free
The owner of this phone is no longer accepting texts from liars, assholes or married men. You figure out which one applies.
You guys bombarded us in the bathroom and that kid whipped his dick out and peed in the sink.
Hey he's not bad, although he did have a glass eye
Okay I know I said I was going to quit drinking for a while but apparently pumpkin pie flavored vodka is a thing and I will not rest until I have some.
Long story short he broke into a preschool and threw all their cones into a tree.
Well I think won that argument, as the cops were leaving, they offered me a ride to the airport
Thanks to that wedding, I got to use the term "finger bang" more than I have since high school.
I just want to drink bourbon and have sex and then eat like, a Christmas cookie.
I party with great urgency now.
Randomize
