WOAH SHIT! That wasn't my girlfriend last night.
so he just left - touched my cheek like he was gona kiss me and then gave me a fist bump?
It was like if Side-show Bob had a vagina for a mouth
Getting up at 8 this morning to drink could be the best and the worst idea we've ever had
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm at a party watching some dude try to eat a whole package of Oreos in 5 minutes.
Black Friday shoppers are ridiculous. I think I just watched a marriage end.
I found out that all you need to write a 12 page paper is adderall and twizzlers
She made a list of the things each of us had done wrong and assigned a point system. Guess who came out the loser?
CONGRATS VODKA, YOU WON RHIS TIME..
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She asked if i could guess "what shape her carpet was". I got it wrong (christmas tree).
Yeah, it was all very half-hearted. In the middle of sex we both just stopped and looked at each other and said, "can we just sleep instead?"
That is so sad.
YOU DESERVE A GUY WITH A NORMAL DICK DONT SETTLE FOR ANYTHING LESS
He fed me jello shota while i was sitting on the toilet and then he peed in the shower
Do you remember last night?
Just that I fell down a hill with my penis out and the emt talked to me.
Remember how slutty I thought she was when we were freshmen?
Yeah! But that was a long time ago. Plus, you use your sluttiness for good!
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