Who is this?
Who do you want it to be?
Sarah Palin
I've got the updo, bangs, and glasses, but I'm blonde
I just ate a drumstick out of the garbage. I need a life coach.
can we please move this conversation out of my vagina?
why is allison so mad at me??
me and her walked into dans and you yelled "hello my dear alli, you're looking mighty overweight today!".
crap..
Some ambulance just rolled up to this bar and this girl just hops out of the back and walks inside
Shes been standing with her arms crossed in front of the mirror for 45 minutes...she told me she's "getting sober"
exactly. I want him to have to live with the fact that he fucked me. I want him to look me in the eye and say "you were a drunken mistake".
No...this little piggys going to the bar
Christopher Columbus didn't sail the ocean blue so I would have to go to class and not have sex with my boyfriend
I'm drunk listening and crying to Selena. How's your Monday?
we had to follow your trail of clothes to find you.......
True I am eskimo brothers with every one of my room mates, but it was only two girls. And 9 outta 10 times I was first
Just letting you know that your little sister is now your eskimo brother. You can send a thank you edible arrangement to Tammy.
I've been eaten out in coupes, sedans, trucks, suv's, you name it. If I can do it in a smart car, you can do it in a vw beetle.
I knew you were the expert on doing it in public. You need to get paid for your advise
My house exploded and with it all my pot went up in smoke.
Randomize
