How was last night?
She looked like Delta Burke in her fat Designing Women days ... and she just left like 2 minutes ago. Right after breakfast.
woke up in my one night stand's bed and barfed all over her floor. she came back from the bathroom, looked at the vomit, looked at me and said "normally i'd tell you to clean it and get the fuck out, but i remember the sex was good, so i'll let it go." Score.
She's okay as an interesting car wreck. But as a sexual object she's funny
it's great music for shaving your balls
Chapter 6 - how to lose your underwear in chicago
He wore my sunglasses on his honeymoon..... so there's that.
I may be in the process of acquiring a second male fuck buddy and dating a girl....FUCKING STOP THE TRAIN I'M ON! THIS IS NOT A DRILL!!
Her only article of clothing is an American Flag
She asked for her virginity back. I don't know what to say
I GOOGLED IT. BEES CAN MASTURBATE. WHAT.
You've thrown off my entire schedule. Usually SATURDAYS are my "try to hide the jizz on my leggings" days
Well I woke up naked, with a santa hat on, and a bag of beef jerky next to me. So yeah, I would say it was a pretty successful trolley
I just brought her a lipstick taser. So just remember that the next time you get smart with her
Spencer just told me I got home and was opening beers with my teeth and trying to make pot butter
I'm like the total package- I don't want a relationship and I have daddy issues. What more could he want?
Randomize
