Please explain to me why I only attract Mormon guys. Just explain that to me.
I think it's God trying to counter your lustful nature. Imagine if Agnostics liked you. You'd never come out of your bedroom.
I was so high i believed someone when they told me le moyne beat syracuse
You called me twice to tell me that you spit in your own eye, when I was right next to you.
Just bought a handle of vodka with the excuse of "just in case we drink tonight"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i just called. the lady was really nice. something tells me my schools clinic gets a lot of calls about chlamydia
i must of done something right to please the booty call gods. . . maybe fucking that fat chick?
Numbies before the dentist, such a good idea.
I'm hiding in a cabinet. I'm going to stay here.
he kept telling me how much his girlfriend would love me while we were making. why does tequila always do this to me?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I dunno what the deal was, but you spent about an hour trying to put your phone charger in the outlet and you were yelling "one plug to rule them all"
But is that really the name you want to scream out during climax?
I'm sorry your Amazon says buttplugs now
sober me thinks like you do. drunk me needs sober me's advice. am i allowed to go to his house?
So were driving two hours to go to a club and Charles packed me a sippy cup full of tequila. He thinks of everything!
His penis is average but his stamina is amazing!!! I didn’t know I had that many orgasms in my body!!!!
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