I can't breathe out the right side of my face
i live my life in a constant state of hangover.
You called me twice to tell me that you spit in your own eye, when I was right next to you.
I even resorted to pole dancing with the street sign. I have an extra $20 now because I think people were paying me to leave.
The smiley face on that pregnancy test is so damn taunting. It's like it's laughing at me for my poor choices.
We fucked in my basement while hiding from the cops.. And now his Facebook picture is him and others holding up there MIP's in front of my house.. I feel obligated to add him as a friend.
Recently successful and happy relationships are at an all time high now that you are no longer fucking so many peoples girlfriends. You alone have changed the mating patterns in the lower half of our county.
You need to stop relating my life to your schoolwork. But tell my girlfriend that she'd be proud.
And on the seventh day, God carefully sculpted your cock to fit perfectly into my masterpiece of a vagina. Then he rested. Look it up.
All I'm asking for is flower occasionally, and in return you get to come home to me naked in heels. Is that to much to ask for?
I just found a piece of glass in my ear from Saturday.
There's always a certain something about a day that begins with your panties in your purse.
It was the best of bangs; it was the worst of bangs.
If you enjoy dance recitals as much as I do, that's one shitty Father's Day...
then he told me my boobs feel like "if you put mushroom soup in a baggie." I don't know how I'm supposed to feel about this.
It's not even 8pm on a Friday and I've already got a guy to tell me how big his penis is. Watched anything good on Netflix lately?
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