I'm so hungover even the car commercials make me nauseas
She pulled a cheeseburger out of her purse. I have missed her so much.
the cop asked for your social security number and you gave her your high school locker combo
I just wanna not walk straight. Is that too much to ask for?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Climbing onto the roof in a dress and high heeled boots was probably not the best idea, especially after all that Bacardi.
Somewhere at this very moment, a group of drunk white girls are singing dont stop believing.
I dont know how to say this. But the hottest girl where im at has one arm.
Crazy fun. I think I got a concussion from a stripper
Dude. When are you coming home? I'm laying in bed watching the Grinch and trying to pet a cat that I'm not even sure exists.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He tried to convince me that it wasn't really that small and all he had to do was pull back the groin fat. It was still small.
Yo if you blacked out last night, careful going through your purse. There's cocaine in a lollipop wrapper.
A big toe in my vag is not foreplay.
Yeah yeah, I don't care. I bought a super soaker, so lets please go attracting attention by spraying each other while wearing white tank tops?
Well to me, someone is not really my friend until we go to a mcdonalds drunk at 4am. It's like a right of passage
I never thought my Saturday night would end up with someone crawling around my carpet for 3 hours trying to pick up spilled coke...
I never thought my Saturday night would end up with ME crawling around your carpet for 3 hours trying to save my investment.
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