Let's play a little game called "Chill the Fuck Out" - you're our first contestant
Seeing him suck some chick's face on VH1 wasn't exactly how I imagined the "we should see other people" conversation going.
Urine might work for jellyfish stings, but we found out it doesn't work well for nose bleeds...
the last time i saw him was an hour he was floating face down in a pool... but i'm sure he's fine.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I told the girl who was peeing in the garbage can she must have had a lot of upper body strength.
You dislocated his arm and then bought him two shots to numb the pain while you pushed it back in
French people screaming and throwing stuff out the window. We told the manager and he's pissed and going up there. This is gonna be like cops. Maybe better than cops.
You kept saying,"there's a seahorse in my stomach, who's trying escape". This was after the curtains attacked you.
I'd say I'd distract him, but I lose my psychic powers when guys get girlfriends. And by psychic powers I mean taking off my top.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
he was very distressed by my statements that there could have been balls on shoulders without awareness
Makers Mark. Chicken nuggets in a blender. Smart
Yeah then she waddled like a duck in silence sat down and ate the entire paper towel roll.
I still think he fell and scraped his elbow and lost his credit card buying 8 hot chocolates for hobos
it is shots o' clock and I am never late
I've had more jaegerbombs than I can count on 3 fingers
Randomize