I just shaved my legs while pooping. classy or trashy?
talent.
... thanks for letting me perform minor surgery on myself last night.
I figured if you were smart enough to sterilize with vodka, you could handle it.
I need to figure out how to tell my doctor that I don't want to fix my possible fertility problems until AFTER I'm done whoring around in my 20s.
We lost Kevin again. Probably kidnapped by fattie 2 or butter-face 2 from last night. We need names and any information you can give us. Last scene with his shoe laces converted into a belt.
If I get to the point of singing Man of Constant Sorrow then please god let me do it, record it, then cut me off.
He fucks like those drill things that you see when you think of texas
Got another job?
If by job you mean clever way of getting free tattoos, then yes. I got another job.
i told her i loved her afterwards and she said "i know," kissed me, and got up to start making breakfast.
dude, she han solo'd you. keep her.
If fixing it is ignoring it, and getting naked. Then yes we fixed it.
I threw up a lot of peanut butter last night.
I've never said "lesbians" so many times in a short response answer
All my female reproductive organs were screaming HELL YES last night.
last night we watched this really loud chick try and pick up this smoking french guy who's english was sooo bad. she finally pointed at her beer and then her vagine
gross
like you've never done an interperative dance for sex, please
HOLY SHIT HOLY SHIT HOLY SHIT HOLY SHIT
So I just ran in to the Couger you saw me take home last month who i haven't talked to since then at Wawa and she was PISSED.. APPARENTLY i fucked her niece last week
I need you to get the emergency bail money out if the stuffed panda and go to the police station tot bail me out. I should be there in 20 minutes.
Randomize
