hey im home...im not sure how this mcdonalds got here but whatever im gonna eat it anyway.
We should have cut you off when you asked the can driver if you could ride in the trunk.
Don't use the things I tell you while drunk after the bruins won the cup against me
college stoner meal of the day: microwaved nutrigrain bars
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
yeah dropping that class because i really don't want to be known as the girl who fell asleep in class and threw up as she walked out for an entire semester
I just used my AAA membership to fix a strippers flat tire in return for a lapdance...does that make me a bad person?
I told him I'd clean his cock if he ever sent my GF another text message. It was a horrific time for me to miss the l key on my iPhone.
Did you feel uncomfortable?
For a little while. Then I got really high and ate a bunch of animal crackers out of some dudes pocket while we chilled on their super comfortable couch.
Looking for my adderal, only found acid. What a shame
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Do you ever look back on your life and think - man I should have never had sex with that guy
Welcome to my Tuesday when my lesbian ex girlfriend shows up unexpectedly and gets me drunk and then leaves
I accidently sent a dick pic to the group chat with her family. Right after they all said it was a pleasure having me for dinner. Wana drink with me?
I should probably eat a Plan B. Pill for breakfast. Happy Halloween.
Also, why does our bed smell like mayonnaise?
Just saw a hotel with a bunch of mattresses in the parking lot. Made me think of you.
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