why does my vagina smell like weed?
omg thats a great idea
I'm sorry i'm just too high to handle anything besides pirates of the caribbean right now.
we turned dreidel into a drinking game. i kept landing on gimel. im glad we have 7 more nights of this
I'm not a pervert.. I just like to be naked...
My mouth holds just enough water for my bong
I was just tagged in a picture with a bunch of people i don't know in a house i don't recognize wearing a purple cowboy hat and a boa...i hate tequila
Doing lines and watching a show on hot dogs around the world ... Why do I do this to myself
Wine floats aren't as good of an idea as they seem
I think "we've never met sober" is a great relationship to have with someone
I need to sanitize my soul.
I just saw a kid on iowa campus story that looked like the guy i made out with on spring break.
Went on a blind date. Afterwards I ripped my pants off and said "it's game time". He was into it.
Stop calling me, Mom. I'm in his closet. You're gonna blow my cover and I'm about to catch this lying SOB.
if you didn't cry because you couldn't find me and then pee your bed, your wingman status would totally be revoked for leaving me at that party.
we should get together and get drunk.
On a Monday?
don't discriminate against mondays.
Randomize
