Man, ugly runs in her family
yeah, big time
how much do you want to bet that her wedding invites will be vera bradley themed? loser has to frame theirs.
Did the walk of shame past her kids. I'm younger than one of them.
the last 2 times weve had drunk sex ive had to get the morning after pill.. he's turning into a real expensive fuck buddy.
You know you're fucked up when you throw your phone on the roof of the bar to show how good the Otter Box works.
Thanks for alerting everyone in our apartment what your one night stand's name is. Could you scream a little louder?
Now that I'm hitting my bong, I realized I haven't missed something so much in a long time. I love Thomas the Dank Engine.
You started throwing frozen shot glasses at people and you kept saying "it's fine, they melt."
If you've never been partying there before, take Shae with you. Drunk Shae is like a GPS. She found us the only bottle shop still open at four, a pot dealer, and told us all which subway to take to get home. She'd never been to Madrid before. It was awesome.
woke up in your bed at 6 AM. on my way home I passed Nathan, bloody, barefoot, and still in a toga. He told me he woke up in a ditch then kept repeating "I'm totally bringing this up at meeting tomorrow". I'm proud of your frat today
Living a little to me does not involve choreographed Michael Jackson songs
i knew my hormones were back to normal when i went to ikea and didn't want to fuck any of the workers
Great litmus test for what a useless adult you are: amount of shame you feel while eating a coffee cup of Fruity Pebbles
Apparently i tried to feed this guy's piranhas my whole left arm.. according to him, i was "showing them whos boss, bc if they try to eat my arm, im guna punch their face"
I don't want to date him...I just want him to cheat on his girlfriend with me.
Randomize
