i barely touched his dick and all of a sudden he yells, "BONER!"
If everyone lived like me, we would need 5.9 earths. Fuck yes america.
Just gave my manager part of my viccodin stash-my job is basically secured forever.
They are making fun of natty and blackberries.
Tell them they are ugly.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Why is there an appointment in my calandar called "get the fuck to the bus" at 3 am june 19th?
I just invented spray cheese vodka. tastes real nasty but does the trick.
Somehow he made it really romantic
He came on your tits... That doesn't scream romance to me.
trust me. coming from a bonafide dirtbag, this dude is up to shady shit
She loves introducing her friends to my foreskin.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Never have i felt more judged than when i was throwing up in front of a hello kitty shower curtain at 5 in the morn
I think this Canadian beach volleyball player might be my soulmate. We could check each other's shoulders for melanoma.
Turns out end of the world sex is H-O-T, HOoot! I'll be the only progressive lady smiling today
college girl with braces trying to flirt with you...time to go
His face will be in my vagina later so I'm willing to forgive.
Apparently my hair turned out really good because I got my butthole licked by a stranger last night
Randomize