Amandyke just told me shes gonna make my tongue her cum rag. i'm borderline terrified
theres a boy scout troop on my plane. right now theyre playing wilderness games. let me just tell you how excited i am to hit on all of them
Nothing ended up happening last night because he couldn't get my overalls or fanny pack off. I woke up this morning with one strap over my overall shorts on, my fanny pack wrapped around my chest, and the baby doll still tied to my hand. Ugh white trash parties!
A homeless guy asked you to feel your boobs, you accepted in exchange for his broom to go with your witch costume..... that's when I cut you off
bubblegum was invented today. we're getting drunk. end of story.
What happened at the top of the stairs is never to be spoken of again.
That was nice of you. Thank you for respecting the fact that I got cockblocked by a sophomore last night.
There's a girl in the bathroom crying about something having to do with cream cheese.
With the drought our water bill is skyrocketing. No more shower sex, masturbating, or pretending to be under a water fall after smoking a blunt.
Made a holiday JibJab of all my fucks. How's your night?
so go get some goddamn bacon and lay in his bed naked. he'll love it.
I'd like to have a moment of silence for all the dicks she's broken off
dude igloo, 4 foot bong, and 3 grams of blue dream. will you be my eskimo buddy?
I just chased my birth control with Smirnoff. Shit's about to go down.
He smells like sex and magic. I’m already naming our children
Maybe you should talk to him first
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