Do you think you have hit the lowest point in your life when you find yourself actually condisering watching the movie "Gigli"?
is it bad that i shorted Freddie Mac immediatly after I heard about the CFO?
she gave me one of her senior pics and told me specifically to give it to you. In other words she still wants to suck your dick.
how the hell did u puke all over the magazines... do u still want me to keep them
i'm half naked talking to a cat. you don't have to justify your life to me.
THIS TIME TOMORROW MY VAG IS GONNA BE BRAND SPANKING NEW.
I misjudged the power of my pelvic thrusting capabilities. His nose is broken. Thoughts?
I don't know what that means. But if you take off your pants, you'll probably get arrested.
So because I got upset you didn't answer I threw my phone in the garbage disposal last night
Will keep you updated on the sexual orientation of my new guy
Why is "Oprah of drinks" written on my arms?
You said to write it on you, after you kept saying, "You get a drink, you get a drink, everyone gets a drink."
I wish so many great beards were not attached to even greater jerks. All that face sitting potential wasted. Some of the greatest tragedies of this century.
I guess I asked for the two old strippers numbers at the end of the bar and it turned out to be the bartenders mom and aunt...
Btw I definitely had pizza sauce on my face, a painful hickey on my neck, and I just remember screaming SISTER WIVES because of the girl's 1997 jean skirt! Wow.
would you eat cereal with weed in it
who is this???
Randomize
