I am drinking with my family and the average drinking tolerance is a shot and a half. I feel like the incredible hulk.
So apparently when I roll on X I find 'dick ina box' not only hilarious but also sexually arousing.
Would you let Jessica Biel poop in front of you to see her naked...but you have to wipe her too?
Sex tip #67: Jizz in the eye is very near the equivalent to pepper spray. Not recommended for pleasure enhancement.
i need a new camera phone. my pictures from last night are as blurry as my memories. and neither tell me why i woke up in an airplane hangar.
He passed out drunk on top of me. Fully erect. Still inside me. Woke up like 1 minute later, and continued.
know what the best part about malls are? standing on the upper level and boob gazing
all i wanted was to be slutty. now i'm meeting him for drinks tomorrow because he woke up before i had a chance to sneak out and was too polite to say no
Between the hair pulling and the choking its its more like combat than sex
Sorry I have an "Operation Iraqi Freedom" fantasy
No, that's just what we do when we hang out. We get drunk, have really awesome sex, then fight about why we never worked as a couple
end of the world party next friday. virgin sacrifice. tell me you know someone whos still a virgin
Debating whether the Plan B I had this morning would go under breakfast or lunch in my food log.
apparently when a guy says "if there's anything missing in your life, I will provide" he's not expecting attractive lesbians to be the answer.
Our office went out together for the first time to celebrate the fact our coworker got fired.
Ok maybe second best. He dated a stripper. Can't compete with that level of hoeness
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