Her cum face looks like the large marge scene in pee-wees big adventure
i literally laid in bad for an hour last night thinking of what i'm going to name my cats when i become a cat lady.
fell asleep with the bong in the pool, weirdest tan line ever
So, how do I go about conveying: I'm sorry, yet very glad she is having my abortion. Via text msg?
Just because you were able to pour the entire bottle of wine into 2 glasses does not mean you took it easy last night.
Dreamed I made out with a stranger after falling out of a car, let's make this happen tonight.
I was to the point where my socks were drenched in ranch dressing
I'm posted up in the bathroom at au bon pain, high as balls, experimenting with eyeshadow combinations and listening to 90s jlo. The girl in the stall next to me just plopped a big one and I laughed, hope I ruined her day
Dude are you alive? We drank shit that made a german bartender blow chunks.
Hardest I think I've ever had to work for a shack. Whatevs. Still gonna get my way though. I'll start respecting myself on Monday
I can feel my pain tolerance has shot up right along with my libido
Next time a party gets busted lets get a group photo first.
Girl, we were harassing people from the top of a building. I don't know how I got down, but I'm eating chocolate cake in my kitchen. Sall good yo.
I have an important idea to tell you when I'm sober about a cat scratching my nose once and what it taught me. DONT LET ME FORGET.
How did you tell her we met?
I told her that we met at the sex shop down the street, I thought it would be the most reasonable explanation.
Randomize
