is it bad that i kinda- ok, reallyyy don't remember having sex with him last night?
I am watching Grease 2 and properly learning how to apply a condom to a banana. This is a sign from God that this is the closest I will ever get to having the need for one.
Woke up un the hot tuv. Climbed out fo the hot tub and fell asleeo. Woke ip again in the hot tub.
in light of our recent drunken behavior, i think it's time we seriously consider hiring ourselves a babysitter.
I don't understand but I fell asleep naked holding a tub of cool whip and a boiled egg
See this is what happens when we don't have sex everyday
I'm skyping with my parents and reading Cosmo articles on giving great head. I'm on a roller coaster that only goes up, baby.
It makes showers more interesting trying to drink a gin and tonic and keep soap out of my eyes at the same time.
You need to calm down.
It wasn't a great time! You grabbed me, picked me up, and make me pee in the sink!
At a bar across from the city police station. I PROMISE I will do something great.
She came so hard that after she finished, she started a slow clap and then told me she pulled a muscle.
He stopped in the middle of us banging in order to check in for his Southwest flight.
I had a glass of wine for breakfast. It's gonna be a rough week.
i put frozen meatballs in my drink thinking they were ice cubes and I'm vegetarian wtf
Can you get an STD by sharing underwear? Walk of shamed home and realized I was wearing someone else’s panties
No one knows. This doesn’t happen to normal people.
Randomize
