just to let you know I saw you texting some Kim chick, and facebook saying she's ugly... good job you're gay now
I think my mom's writing a book called how to fuck with your kids when you know they're high
Some chick in the back of my Psychologhy of Addictions class just did a line off her hand. She tried to make it look subtle.
I hate when people I sell to add me on Facebook. I'm your dealer, not your friend, C'mon people.
Apparently everytime he put me down to bed I escaped out the window, I faintly recall climbing into the canoe in the back yard, and air paddling.
P.s. remind me to tell you about the porno that Paul envisioned starring you. It's wizard of oz themed.
The trees feel like magic. Come fly to taco bell with me.
I yelled out look at all those hickeys. And then gave her boyfriend a high five
I will refer to it as the penis of glory... he fucked me for 3 and a half hours - and all he needed was a 5 minute power nap in the middle (which he took WHILE INSIDE ME). I plan on staying with him forever
6 beers, 3 orange crushes, & half a fire ball later & you get my alter ego.
Hey dude. I've got a mini fridge in my closet now so we don't have to worry about getting drunk and falling down the stairs on our way to get more beer.
YOUR STATE IS STUPID
Did you miss a turn again?
WHAT FUCKING IDIOT DECIDED TO DESIGN AN ENTIRE FUCKING STATE WHERE YOU CAN'T MAKE A FUCKING LEFT TURN?!? FUCK NEW JERSEY
I'd love you more if you were covered in hot cheetos
You know you're stoned when you tell your dog you're stoned only to realise he's not in the pickup
he went down on me WHILE i ate BACON PIZZA! best. boyfriend. ever.
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