Spencer Pratt, I WILL beat the shit out of you someday, I Promise
And then I chipped his tooth because I got too into it. Helloo, single life.
Found out in my property law class that you can sell your eggs for $8000. Helloooo spring break.
obviously you don't know the college version of myself. if there's something i'm ALWAYS willing to put up for it's alcohol.
he'll be my respectable boyfriend for tksgiving and i'll be his non-slutty girlfriend for christmas.
and then ....
he stays my gay friend and my parents think i'm not a slut.
Rolling one last joint on my Psych textbook before trading it in. I might actually cry.
I'm wearing cowboy boots and showing way too much cleavage to be in a place with no jaeger.
Besides asking our teacher if he enjoyed being fisted did I have any other tragic moments last night?
I'm ordering a large vanilla ice cream with rainbow sprinkles so when I vom tonight it will look like lisa frank dolphins in acid trip colors
What does that mean when you have a child masturbating in your dream? Is that weird?
That was so not worth putting pants on for.
I can't believe I'm coordinating a threesome at work. My productivity is at an all time low.
You spent the whole night conversing with your zombie poster, so I'd say you were pretty far gone.
she chased shots of jack with a fucking steak. i'm in love.
I kicked down a wall in rage and found a door behind the drywall. Once again vandalism solves all my problems.
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