he was lying next to me and i saw him text "score" to someone.
This show inspires me to have sex in space
This hotel is not contributing to my sobriety, they have 4 kinds of free wine and beer.
you have no idea how wierd it is to get nudes while talking to grandma
I'm sorry I kept calling last night when you wouldn't pick up. I'm REALLY sorry I sang "You Oughta Know" on more than 4 voice mails.
What did you wear last night? Because I'm pretty sure there are atleast 4 Facebook statuses about your walk of shame.
Just got booked to do a bachelorette party for a polygamist wedding. And notice I only text you to rub things in your face and show you my life shits on yours. Daily.
I don't think my body can handle the alcohol I want to put in it anymore.
Triple a is towing cars for free tonight and tomorrow night. Can we take advantage of this ?
Face washed and sleeping pill taken. Here's hoping for a more sex filled tomorrow.
Apparently HR frowns upon current employees introducing themselves to the new employee as "Hi I'm sleeping with your cousin"
he's like a horny 3rd grader on cocaine. he needs a leash
I am sitting in my lingerie, eating frozen cookie dough out of a bowl, and watching family. My hump day is going great
Woke up next to a half eaten Philly Cheesesteak. Honestly probably one of the top 3 things I've ever woken up next to.
I think I may have just hit a new slutty low! ..... Just purchased the Costco pack of condoms... $9.99/48 pack = amazing deal! The judgement when I bust out the value pack = priceless!!!
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