3:12 am: but i thought i was coming over tonight, don't fall asleep i wore new underwear
So he sent me a text that said "say hi to your vajayjay for me"
Was there any message he wanted you to relay to your asshole?
So my earrings and necklace kept jingling and hitting him in the face, and he told me felt like he was fucking a Christmas tree
So last night I taught an old homeless dude to respond to "Blue" so I could shout your my boy Blue at the party
You were sending me snapchats from a bathtub with your beer helmet on and your boobs out.
we def had a heart to heart that turned into a BJ last night
I couldn't finish the episode and had to lay down because the snapple commercial with the mustache was blowing my mind
Tbh I fell asleep cuddling a bag of Brazilian nuts. Franzia never dissappoints me
No more twerking this week. I think I dislocated a boob.
I'm done being drunk I wish I could snap my fingers and be sober
Have you ever got so drunk that you tasted the future?
where did we go last night? there's dollar bills all over my room & they're all wet.
He fucked me for my Netflix login, I fucked him for his HBO login, and actually I think that's beautiful
Fuck you. Fuck this party. I just wanted to be pretty with a cute little tiara and boys sucking my tits, now i have a hangman game drawn on my face and jello shots in my hair.
I wanted to give you a great birthday party. You know I did.
I often worry that if I get famous, people from my past will recognize me and start talking to the media
Randomize
