I told him he can't put it there till we're exclusive. That's totally The Relationship Hole.
ya i vaguely remember microwaving a whole package of bacon for 20 minutes or so and then eating it all around 4am
I started drinking at 10.30am. Ive got a solid buzz, ive decided holidays are to be treated like gamedays
Life's too short to consider the larger psychological underpinnings of my lust.
I fucked her while she was wearing her boyfriends dogtags. I'm officially a bad american
He broke into my apartment to check his Facebook again, the beer is all gone, and there's a new high score on pac man.
I've friend zoned this boy hard. I made him change my nipple rings before he went home.
We were high as shit. We argued for like ten minutes about going to Dunkin Donuts and then just ended up rolling down hills. Thanks for the weed.
I JUST MADE OUT WITH A BRITISH SOCCER PLAYER. LONG LIVE THE QUEEN. GOD BLESS THAT COUNTRY.
Know what's awkward? Having a couple of moving guys watch while you detach the bondage cuffs from your bedframe, that's what.
See,its just the last time this situation happened I ended up hiding in a closet on my birthday
We probably are going to die. So. Thanks for agreeing to be my Maid of Honor even though I torture you.
I will consider today a failure if my nipple isn't bitten at least 😂
Oh is THAT how we're gonna play mini golf
Me and dad were just reflecting on that time he found a gas mask bong in the backyard.
Almost gave the delivery guy a 34 dollar tip. That high
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