Let's bang like we're on a Lifetime Channel movie.
community service is like the breakfast club... except we're all the criminal.
I cannot believe you needed a note to remind yourself to ask me about the fourteen sleeping Mexicans.
I knew the sex would be bad when he slipped the rubber on and said "safe sex activated"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
...so how do you feel about living with a lesbian next year?
hhaha i just laughed out loud when i read that
is that a "i laughed because im fine with it" or "im a republican" ?
I wish there was a non slutty way to ask the guys across the hall if i can copy their men's bathroom key so I have one for my one night stands
Hey just to warn you theres a really fat guy passed out in front of our front door snoring. Don't touch him, he's in god's hands now.
What do you think french fries on pizza would taste like?
i already know. Delicious. Use ranch.
We fucked to the rythmn of the thunder, it was magical
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Yeah, you went up to him and said "I stare at people until they feel obligated to talk to me."
I will not get drunk on our first date. I will not get drunk on our first date. I will not get drunk on our first date.
Never drinking again. Maybe, if our boss gave us more 3-day weekends we would know how to handle ourselves. That was a shit show.
you seriously don't remember..? but then again, you were taking shots by yourself for like 30mins
The moment buddy the elf found out he was human is exactly like the moment I realized I was gay
Why did I not realize how important my fridge was till I was drunk. It keeps all my food cold its like my own cold box
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