why is there a picture of someone wearing Tevas with socks taped on the wall?
I am currently eating pure cake frosting...I am not sure how I was ever referred to as a responsible adult.
First booty call in Europe.. In Barcelona. With a German. In broad daylight.... Is that how they do it here?
Trust me. Drunk Scrabble is not a good idea. Arguments over the legitimacy of the word "Pickle" break out, things are said, friendships are ruined. It's ugly.
When you were bringing him upstairs I told him to bring you on down to pound town. you're welcome.
Congratulations, you've begun to unfuck your life.
Well, during the ride home I had to personally apologize to both of her breasts.
I love how four vibrators are within reach of me right now, but not a single hair brush or comb
I should be free tonight unless my 5 speed vibrator arrives in the mail today, than we might have scheduling conflicts.
We are no longer allowed to make spur of the moment decisions about our love lives
ABSOLUTELY NOT
I just found a samari sword in the couch. I'm about to take like 5 shots and pretend to be captain jack sparrow
Looks like taco salad for lunch. I may have died and gone to be better circle in hell than I thought.
When campus security rolled up he stole their car and drove it like 100 feet. Then he walked up and gave back the keys because it was a hyundai.
She swallowed the car key because she thought we were really going to make her drive.
Haha word. Sure I can do that. Help me find which bar has my pants and you'll get free tacos all week
Randomize
