I could have mohawked her pubes.
In hindsight maybe we should have moved his homework instead of playing quarters on top of it.
Calling yourself a modern day Geisha doesn't justify being a whore.
Does this sound normal?...She's ironing on pictures of her dead cat to all of her green clothes...
she was in the bathroom washing her eye makeup off with hand sanitizer.
Her face is stuck to the frozen jager bottle. I think shes ok with it
The plan was to get laid... Now the plan is to survive.
His penis smells like laundry I just wanted to cuddle it
Well I walked the wrong way for a little bit and I don't remember if I fell asleep or not but I definitely laid down under the over pass for a while
It looks like I jerked off a rainbow.
I took a pregnancy test at Pancheros a bit ago.
He played with my nipples while singing "How great thou art"
there's crying, and people are upset, and there's a love triangle, and a broken heart, and so much estrogen
It's three am. I'm drunk in a stairwell in Vegas. My flight leaves at six. Help.
Fuck your bullshit loser kid and his gluten allergy.
Randomize
