"Reality" and all separate lives are the same thing?... We all have separate realities?! My life Has one reality and yours has another?
Haha how much did you smoke
4 feet of smokeee!
so chris just stuck his hand between rachel's legs and yelled 'TROUT!' and we were like...you're wasted
is 1am too late, or too early to make bacon?
Do you know how difficult it is to give head to someone who's imitating Forrest Gump?
I resisted the temptation to hold the cake in one hand to alternate bites with the ruffles I was eating. I decided that might make me look dysfunctional.
Holy hangover, going dancing with family good idea, taking the last shot with the transvestite bar owner not so much...
Cops are just so fun an beautifuk
You had your shirt off checking IDs at the door and you don't even work there
You cant come. You're a Colorado native who drinks Bud over Coors. Fucking homegrown terrorist.
someone cut his neck open pretty bad with a broken beer bottle. We were so close to his house that we carried him home, but when we got there he casually laid on his bed and said he was just gonna sleep it off. WHO DOES THAT
he spent an hour trying to rescue a bug from the sink. turned out to be a sesame seed.
Hey, YOU try working out drunk every night! Besides, I think at least one of those bruises is a hickey.
I just sent him a message bearing my soul about how much he means to me as a friend and his first response is "are you drunk?"
Shit like this is why I'm a bitch to everyone.
Dude we just exchanged Zelda related pickup lines. I fell in love at "you can blow on my ocarina"
Soooooooo high. David tried to rinse the water droplets out of the sink for 5 minutes
Randomize
