hey can you give me head? jesse told me that you're really good
who is this?
jesse's little brother
Do you ever close your eyes when your having sex with your girlfriend and pretend she didn't get fat after high school?
Question. If Kwik Trip and Kum and Go were to merge, what would they call it? Kwik Kum or Kum Kwik?
that would combine my 3 fave things. christmas funfetti and paul simon
his pokemon pajamas? the fact that he was proud of the stretchmarks on his arms? or finding out he has a daughter that went to high school with us? ...you tell me what was the dealbreaker
I found out that they tried to reenact the Snooki drop by using a jump rope and the banister. Pictures say it all.
Oh, and my friends believe you should reimburse me for the brazilian that was gone to waste.
In a min. With a stripper at the hospital. Business. Not pleasure.
Hey, can you come over and kill me real quick
I dropped my blunt out the window of a moving car by accident, tell me everything will be okay
I see your smile in the face of every drunk that senses he's about to slay a troll.
Well since your going through her phone..look man she loves you..she just loves my dick more
This morning on my way to work I saw a guy ride his bike straight into a woman and her dog while trying to light a bowl. Thought of you.
That guy was drunk and couldn't get it up so he just tried to scissor me.
Do you sleep with the same women I've already slept with on purpose?
Randomize
