Just saw my gyno in public. Weird to see her hands outside of my vagina.
remember them days when you seriously wanted your mom to marry rev run and we would always talk shit about justine?
joeyyyy why you always taken cheeseburgers from me?!?!?!
Hey was my sperm eye the same day I crapped myself?
I'm driving behind a lime green VW that has "Seniors '10!" shoe polished on the rear window. i haven't even seen her yet, but I do have a boner.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Dude. She told me she felt bad for not giving me more blojobs. HOW COULD THAT HAVE GONE BETTER?
It was awkward being the only one at the wedding who knows that the bride and groom met when she gave him a lap dance at a strip club
i almost hope i AM knocked up so i can ruin the rest of his life
We had sex under a tree in his boss's backyard, then I hooked up with his best friend. I don't even care how I got home.
well I have to shit but I'm too hungover to push, and I snorted advil so I wouldn't have to swallow it and throw up.. hungover is an understatement.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
scream really loud. we think you crawled under the deck
It's a pretty amazing thing to watch... He used "Rad tits" as his pick up line of the night. And it worked... 3 times
some people popped out of a houseboat and asked us to their party. their houseboat IS A WEEDBOAT. it is full of weed they grow weed. EVERYWHERE.
I found one of those wine glass confetti bits in my ass crack.
Think of the things uve done in the past. And ask urself "have I done worse?" If u answer yes. Its perfectly ok.
just threw up in a gas staton parking lot in front of a father and son. stared them in the eyes and finished like a boss
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